


You Need Some Loving

by alxxring



Category: Crankiplier - Fandom
Genre: 1890s, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Childhood Friends, Coming of Age, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Ethans dad dies, Falling In Love, Gay, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Past Rape/Non-con, Unrequited Love, a lil bit of parental issues, boys, ethan has a southern accent, mark doesn't know his father
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25121578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alxxring/pseuds/alxxring
Summary: understanding feelings and how to cope is maybe the most important thing growing up, and sometimes... you can't put up with it anymore. Sometimes the person to help you is someone you unknowingly love, sometimes they make you feel infinite.
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 51





	1. opening

**Author's Note:**

> opening chapter whoop whoop

Love was a concept that most didn’t grasp until they were older. Whether it be your first heartbreak or your first love, maybe that sort of platonic infatuation… the kind that made you proud of anything the other did.

Ethan didn’t understand it. He didn’t know how, or just _what_ it was supposed to feel like. The only person he’s ever been sure he loved… was his father. Sheriff of their small southern town, always so _strong,_ cool, _loving_ to his little boy that wanted nothing more than to grow up to be just like him. Maybe it was just his son complex, but it wouldn’t be a lie to say that his dad was his biggest idol.

The boy was raised lovingly. Back then, his mother was around enough to show him how to _live_ right, what it was to nurture and respect people, following in his fathers’ hero complex. Ethan was once told by his old man, “You can’t let them see the pain, boy. Persevere through that, show them everything you’re made of.” and the words just… stuck. He’d changed that day. and every other day he had gone through helping his dad with sheriff work. _experiencing_ and encountering these nasty things.

His mother didn’t like this new change. She preferred her baby boy that would openly talk about his feelings, let her know what was wrong because so many things were nowadays. And even when things got hard, _so_ hard, like with everything that had happened with Bill, he’d tell his mom nothing was wrong. But she knew better. She wasn’t a fool. It was his dad’s word that shaped him into the solid young man he was today, the words that took away her baby boy. And for that…

She grew to hate her husband, To really hate how he handled things. 

So… why did it hurt? Why did it hurt no longer seeing him in headlines, not hearing his clunky boots lumbering in with the day’s groceries, seeing his badge gone from the wall in the morning? Why did she miss his calloused hands reaching out to intertwine their fingers, professing his love for her each night? Why did she miss his warmth, and smell, the buoyant laugh, stupid bandit jokes, his goofy humour? Soon she realized she’d never once Actually hated her husband.

And in desperate times, all she wanted was for him to come back. To see him Ruffle Ethan’s hair at the dinner table, to ask about her day, never to get that question in return. She should have treated him better, every day the guilt ate her alive… and… she found herself reverting into bottling everything up as well.

So in that house, that melancholy house filled with the weight of death and sadness, she never grieved. She instead packed her bags when the opportunity to go to Honduras for her job arose, and she left to run away from her feelings. A note left for Ethan to discover, her son left to nothing.

  
  


The only thing he had left was Mark, it felt like.

  
  


And that was… okay. That was amazing. Because, in a way, crying into his Bestfriends’ mother’s chest was more comforting than being with his own mother. She smelt like cinnamon and sun cream, a little bit of that ghastly cologne Mark always drenched himself in, and she smelled like everything he had lost so quickly. That was a recipe for disaster, the combination that sent him holding onto her tighter, his little highschool body being taller than her even then. The first time in years he had let himself cry felt like a damn being bulldozed by the nice feeling of a motherly embrace. This woman he had known since kindergarten made him feel more safe, secure and loved than his mother had in years.

That day was a hard one. He told himself “we all have hard days” but it wasn’t every day that your dad died. Every day wasn’t the one that would eternally take your father from you. Even after he finished crying, finished his speech at the funeral service, there was just something that made his feel so… empty. So fucking voidant and unfulfilled, completely unable of getting past the metaphorical walk of shame.

This worried Mark. and even Months after, seeing Ethan in any form of physical sent him reeling. The boy was a _mess,_ his own mother was a mess, _Ethan’s_ mom was a mess…

Losing that man was like losing an anchor, so now everyone was left to drift off by themselves into the blackest abyss of grief.

Life seemed to stop.


	2. natural comfortability

I'm listening to “Feel Good Inc” and its kinda ruining my sad flow, but changing it wud be anarchy.

But thas fine whatever lemme write. If you didn’t know, Momiplier is Sunok :)

I’ve also come up with the idea to leave a good song in each chapter. A lot of things in my life revolve around music, and I want the people that see this to feel as connected to it as I do <3

Today’s song!!!: Yesterday When I Was Younge - Dusty Springfield

*********

Do you know when things seem heavy? The type of palpable tension that comes with heartbreak, disappointment?

This chapel was filled with it.

Everywhere Ethan went,  _ he  _ was filled with it. Even standing at his dads’ casket, holding back everything his old man had wanted him to repress, his aura was just so… suffocating. It honestly, 100% terrified Mark. seeing this new side of Ethan without any type of reassurance, voice breaking that accent everyone always loved, holding onto his best friend like a life raft.

Marks’ mom just told him that he had to accept seeing the brunette like this for a while, and even though she didn’t mention herself, he could see how much she was affected by the sheriff’s death. But that’s exactly it. To Mark, he was a second dad. To his mom, her best friend. To Ethan, it was his damn  _ dad.  _ And the bigger teen couldn’t help but look around with unglorified anger. These irrelevant people filled this space, the audacity to ask if Ethan was okay. To wish him best, to cry on  _ his  _ shoulder. The boy that practically lost both parents with the way his mom had shut off. 

He just knew things would be stagnant for a while, and that day, he officially swore to himself he’d help Ethan get past this.

If only Ethan let his guard down. The brunette had the valour to  _ smile. Smile _ and ask how Mark was, even How his mom was as the pallbearers carried away the casket. Mark knew it wasn’t the time for his feelings… but Ethan was so beautiful. So tragically handsome, that sort of bitter elegance that only he could read. The type that told him everything he needed to know, basically screaming “I'm breaking” and Mark didn’t answer Ethan’s question. His best friend needed a hug, he needed one that secured him, that could hopefully let his life regain motion, so he wrapped his arms around that waist of his. Heart-shattering again when the boy gasped, breath stuttering while he tried calming it, but there was no use. Because the bigger teen just squeezed harder, saying sentences in a raw chance of emotion.

Sixteen-year-old Ethan cried into his best friend’s shoulder on a Saturday morning, the first time since age five.

*****

“Hey, Ethan. Is your mom around?” he heard from his rotary phone, frowning at the tone of Sunoks’ voice. Surely she didn’t want to hear about the way his mom left him to grieve alone.

“No, I’m sorry… she left two days ago for her job.” he didn’t talk about the way she didn’t even give a proper goodbye either.

And the woman let out a slight hum.

“Ahh… yeah, I heard about the trip that the Mayor was taking.”

What was this about? He got so caught up in his thoughts, questioning if Sunok was okay. Why was she calling so late, sounding almost… sad. He could hear the way she sniffed and wondered if she’d been crying.

“Yeah.. anyway, did you- did you need something? Are you okay?” she let out a bitter giggle at that. “I’m fine, Ethan. How are  _ you,  _ hun?”  _ that  _ left an unsettled feeling in his stomach, and he did his best to push through. “I’m alright, momma, you know how I deal with things…” the southern accent emphasized “momma,” and she giggled at the memories it brought back

The house was so empty, empty enough that the giggle bounced off the walls.

“How’s Mark?” Ethan could practically hear the smile in her voice as she teased him about not even being away for an hour. “He’s fine… also wondering how you are. Want to talk to him?”

“Sunok, I can just come over. You’re literally my neighbour.”

But it was too late because Mark was saying a simple “Hi.” into the phone, the anxiousness bleeding through the line. ”you aren’t going to nag me about papa, too, are you?” Ethan teased instead of following with the tone, hearing the soft chuckle and deep “no, Eth… just asking if you’re free tonight.” of course he was.

“Spend the night. We can even go to the Cantina with Ma.”

“Oh, Is Mr. Fishbach offering to third wheel? Now, your mom is a fine woman and I’m sure you know that we are an unstoppable force-”

“God, shut up!” they both giggled over the line, and he knew his best friend enough to know that the man was rolling his eyes, that crooked smile in place… it just made his heart swell more than it had all day, and when the only sound left was the crackly ring of the landline, he shifted. “But yeah. I’ll go over.” definitely smirking at the soft relieved sigh that travelled through the line.

So then he hung up, dragging his lumbering body up those creaky steps of his childhood home, cringing at the way it echoed. This would be good for him. Going over to spend a day or two with Mark would be good, simply because being alone right now would not. Being alone was never a good thing for Ethan anyway. And as he stuffed in some clothes he found in his drawer, everything seemed so… gone. It was as if he were leaving forever, the thought scaring him with how freeing that felt. 

But eventually, he set off to bound down his porch steps, properly rolling his eyes because Mark was already standing on the porch of his own house, smiling when he spotted the sad brunette. Ethan felt a pat on his shoulder as he walked across the wood, being told to leave his bag of clothes by the door, for they were already going over to the saloon. Sunok made sure to bring an Extra jacket knowing how easily cold the boy got, and her son wrapped an arm around her shoulders as the group of three set off walking into town. 

Mark couldn’t help but just feel a bit betrayed by his best friend’s mom, even though she didn’t personally hurt  _ him…  _ she hurt her son, and that was apparent. Even Sunok saw the way Ethan stared at the two with longing eyes, trying his best to laugh along with the jokes they would share but… he wasn’t okay. That was the easiest way to put his feelings into words. The poor boy was not okay, and as he looked ahead to the dirt path they were walking on, he wanted to cry. 

No longer would his dad be riding past them, no longer would he hear the gallops of the stallion, his badge shining in the setting sun. 

It was so incredibly nostalgic for no reason, and before he knew it, he was linking arms with Mark for a distraction. Anything to get his mind off the way his chest was burning to let out terrible sobs of sadness. The small assuring smile he got from Mark as the three walked into the almost empty saloon made his stomach clench, and he smiled back. 

How did he get so lucky?

-

Laying down on Mark’s bed always put Ethan in a state of calm. It smelled like him, and the fact that the man would be coming in here any second made his mind go lax. All of the boiling and acidic tears that he had wanted to let out earlier just… calmed. They calmed to little rumbles, little bubbles, almost like magma. Soon Mark came in, laying down right next to him and just staring at the little paper creatures they had taped up there all those years ago.

dragons, butterflies, even a fish they had spent all of their leftover paper on. It looked almost as if it were a Frankenstein creation. He didn’t even need to ask to know why Ethan was laughing, because he, himself, had been quietly giggling at the memory.

God, they were so in sync.

“Ma was so mad that day. We used all of her paint.” yeah, they did. Ethan recalled. “We couldn’t go to the quarry for a week.” something about the way Mark said it… they way they didn’t even have to clarify what it was they were talking about made Mark’s heart soar, and he let out a rich chuckle that made the smaller boy want to hug him. To hug him and never let go, his chest filling with this fluttery feeling… fondness seeping out of him as he turned to cuddle into his best friends’ chest.

“I remember,” Ethan confirmed instead of acknowledging how fast their hearts had started beating. “Papa had tried convincing her to bring it down to three days because we were all supposed to go that week.” he continued on with the memory, smiling as he could almost see that sweet smile his dad had. “We ended up having to go the next week.” Mark smiled, finally pulling his friend closer into his broad chest. 

It felt so natural.

“Thanks, Mark.”

“yeah...Anytime.”

“No, I mean… for being here. Always. When things get hard.” and he felt a little vulnerable squeeze on his back where Ethan’s arms were wrapped up. He sounded so small, so fragile, and Mark hadn’t heard that from Ethan in a long time. So he just nodded into the fluff of hair atop his head, pulling him flush against his body. “Always.”

And that was a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lil bit of pure friendship.
> 
> sort of platonic but not lmao.


	3. safe place

on a June summer morning, they woke up.

Ethan awoke first, seeing the small patch of drool he had left, and disorientedly getting out of bed. Memories came to the last thing. The feelings of the funeral and his mother, soft smiles he and mark shared last night.

Then he smelt the bacon, and it was a rare smell… but he would know it anywhere. Down here in the southern parts, they didn’t get much cattle or animals. Not even buffalo season was enough for the town. So he bounded down the steps to see where it was coming from, low and behold… Sunok. She was standing there in her favourite sunflower dress, happily flipping and stacking up bacon on her vapour stove. The woman turned around when she heard the soft footsteps, her face lighting up.

“C’ mere sugar, come crack these eggs for me.” she must have gotten them from her “chicken garden” as she liked to call it, Ethan noted, and went to go crack the eggs.

Mark woke up last, arms curled in on himself, the smell wafting through the house was enough to set him confusedly stumbling off his bed. It was that sort of greasy and factored scent that was all around carnivals, and he walked down the steps to witness  _ Ethan.  _ Ethan stirring the eggs, Ethan plating the bacon, Ethan moving around that kitchen like he was a professional. Mostly, he didn’t know how to act. It was just so attractive, seeing the boy smoothly blueprint their kitchen and smile at him like he didn’t know how much Mark wanted to jump his bones.

Of course, he spotted his mom somewhere in the corner of his eye, putting down forks at the dining table. 

He didn’t know why they had bought this huge family home, they were only two people, but as his mom climbed the social ranks and he met Ethan, he had a family. They  _ created  _ one, and he wanted one with Ethan. One just like this. Cooking  _ bacon  _ on Sunday mornings, a family dinner table, a ring on the boy’s finger, something to tie them down forever. Seeing his friend finish up breakfast, put a plate in front of him, feeling Ethan’s chest flush with the dining room chair that was pushing into his own back, the boy squeezing his shoulder… he wanted to faint. He was so intoxicated. Ethan smelled like  _ him _ and didn’t even mind it.

Mark saw his mom looking at him in some type of way, trying to silently tell her son “Woah” as if she knew what he was thinking. He only ignored it, gazing at Ethan from across the table with fond eyes. And if she caught on, she didn’t comment. Instead, she mentioned that she’d be leaving soon.

“I’m going to work soon, I’ll be back late. Around ten, Maybe.”

Mark thought nothing of it, but Ethan raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Why?” and she could barely stifle her laughter.

“I’m off on a date.” the word ‘date’ rung in both of the boy’s ears, and they looked to each other with shock. Ethan looked nearly ready to run some victory laps around the town, and he nodded his head as he looked back to her. Mark followed suit in glancing back at his mom. “That’s amazing!’ the brunette laughed, pumping a silly fist into the air.

“Good, it’s about time!” Mark chuckled, smiling wider at the scandalous face his mom pulled. 

And though she tried hiding her big grin, she simply couldn’t with the two boys teasing and asking questions about the man she was to be seeing.

\-------------------

Sunok had left around nine that morning, her clunky car driving off into town. That left the boys to brainstorm things to do, and Ethan wanted so badly to get rid of these feelings weighing him down. And though so many people around him had managed to move on with their lives, he was still… stuck. A day after the funeral, and he couldn’t get his mind off the things he’d miss.

Mark was there, though. He saw his gloomy mood and pulled him out to there bikes. Keeping him busy was the best solution. “We’re going to go explore a trail I know of.”

“I reckon we explored them all, Mark-”

“Nope!” and that was the best way to shut down any protests, because the boy just climbed onto his creaky bike without a word, waiting for his friend to take off. When he did see the bigger man start to peddle, he followed suit, taking them in a direction they had never gone. Past the willow tree’s leaning over there house, and in right into town, turning down an alleyway. It was one of the more well-kept areas, due to the new patrollers the mayor had sent out. And riding through here was an adventure, anyways. The stark walls of the stores that sandwiched this dirt road made it seem longer than it was, and when Mark abruptly turned into a small section of tree’s he nearly fell off balance. 

“I didn’t even know we had tree’s back here!” Ethan called out to his friend, only to see the man nod from behind, urging him to keep pedalling.

For the most part, once they had emerged from the trail of tree’s, everything seemed to be very calm. He could see a few darker clouds from the road but didn’t really mind it, and everything surrounding them was just green grass or talc fine dirt.

Mark was right. They hadn’t explored this.

Somehow, pedalling into this expanse of nothing but grass and plants made him feel free. Almost one with his surroundings. When he inhaled, the fresh scent of summer made its way into his nose, an exhalation like a chill breeze. Trying to catch up to Mark was his favourite thing to do, seeing the playful as he was only left farther behind the more they neared a group of tree’s again. 

These were bigger, the grass taller. The soft chime of calm water echoed in the distance, that’s how quiet it was, and They passed a group of possums, Ethan’s soul closing in a little at the remembrance of going possum hunting with his father. 

Mark halting to a stop on the dead road distracted him for the moment. 

“Do you hear it, Ethan?”

The boy squinted in confusion as he skidded right next to his friend, adjusting his billowy white button-up to expose more skin, hoping it would cool him down some. If he caught Mark staring with longing eyes, he didn’t comment. 

“Hear what?”

“The water.”

Yes. The echoey water. 

“I lied.” Mark turned to face him, readily setting a foot on the bike pedal. “I’ve been here before. Alone.”

Why alone? Ethan wondered. 

“And… coming here always makes me feel safe.”

That made the body of the brunette tingle in a warm way, the feeling you get when someone does something thoughtful, and he nodded. Because that’s all he could really manage. Saying anything would simply make him cry. 

And they set off again. 

The chimes of water getting closer, his excitement to roll around in the wheat-coloured grass overlapping any other thought, and then they were engulfed by the trees. The path was no longer orange dirt, but a properly dampened soil, and he had no time to think about how awful it would be to clean his bike later because Mark was laughing at the bumpy ride. It reverberated through the trees of this mini forest, making Ethan's _ heart  _ want to commit this to memory. Hoping this would be a time he remembered what he wanted to, to not forget the beautiful things he accumulated from Mark. 

Ethan bumping up and down his seat also sent him giggling, and for a moment he felt like a little boy again. Under the impressionable wing of his father. 

And then Mark turned, and he followed suit a few feet behind, 

It was breathtaking, truly. The water was clear, sparkling from the masked sunlight filtering in through the tree’s, the second tier little cliff also had a stream pushing water into the main pond. He could see the ferns growing, anemones laying beautifully on the outer of the water. It looked damn near  _ magical,  _ and he was confused as to how this was even able to grow where they lived. His chest squeezed, face turned into a smile. 

Ethan saw Mark dropping his bike, waiting for the boy, and he helped him off his own bike when he got there. 

“Welcome. You’re now granted access to a safe space.”

That sounded big. 

And sixteen-year-old Ethan nearly knocked his best friend down with the biggest hug, arms locked around his neck, taking a huge inhale from the junction of his shoulder. 

Yep, same old disgusting cologne. Yet now that comforted him, and he squeezed much harder than intended when Mark rested gentle hands on his back, burrowing his head deeper into that tanned neck as he could already see what type of confused face the bigger man had on. 

Ethan didn’t know  _ why  _ he was so touched, why he felt like crying,  _ why  _ he wanted to just spill out every incoherent thought. But he felt safe. He’s always been comfortable around his best friend. But something’s changed. Something in the way he felt for his best friend. And he didn’t quite know what it was, but… it was strong. 

  
  


Mark really was something special. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got attacked by a mark stan because I said Ethan had meaty thighs... i... whats going on.
> 
> uhm, N E WAYZ, feedback is v appreciated! love to hear it.


	4. mayor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe my friend wrote this one. She doesn't want to be named. And sorry I took so long!

“Hey, hun.” 

She had no glimpse of grief or remorse, nothing to tell Ethan she even cared about her husband, and he wanted to scream. But she just shifted with her suitcase, setting it near the kitchen doorway, and slipping off her heels. 

She didn’t look like she normally did, he wanted to ask what that was about. His mom was all… dressed up. Expensive heels, curled hair, a _silk_ slip dress. Deep down, he knew where it was from, deep down, he felt the magma in his chest starting to boil again. 

“How was the trip?” He asked instead of actually questioning anything, and even her brightened expression irritated him. Her husband just died, and she was blabbering on about how wonderful Honduras was like she hadn’t hurt her only remaining family by not showing up to the funeral. She would always use the excuse “I had to leave because of my job!” Anyway, so what was really the use of pressing the matter. 

“We’d have to go sometime, Eth.”

"don't call me that."

echoes of his nickname rippled into his ears, And he only nodded, following her to the kitchen as she hummed a plight “oh!” in remembrance... ignoring him.

“Mr. Lexington wants you to come over to his Villa tomorrow for dinner! He says he wants to congratulate you on how well you’ve been doing in the schoolhouse—“ her tall and slim body leaned against the door frame, and she looked so much like a teenager, he once again wanted to scream. But he knew what this meant. The Mayor only wanted to see you for academics when he had a _reward_ to give you. All of his other socially ranked friends had gotten paid-in-full scholarships because of that man. But seeing his mom come home smelling like the town hooker, a fresh set of hickeys on her neck that hadn’t been there before… he wasn’t sure he wanted it. This wasn’t his mom. 

His mom was the woman to wear frugal dresses and buy apple pie, go forage for fucking _berries_ at dawn when she wanted fresh pie. What the hell was she doing? Going to the Mayors _villa,_ looking like she stepped out of a city movie. They didn’t even sell silk clothing in these parts!

“Eric said you could also bring Mark-“

“Eric?” Ethan nearly yelled. _No one_ called the mayor by his first name, it was part of the **job** requirement. 

“Yeah! He allowed me, calm down, Hun.”

The brunettes fists balled at his sides, and he clenched his jaw to hold back every scream of anger he wanted to let out. He could not lose control right now. Did he mention that he wanted to scream?

“Anyways, yeah, ask Mark to go! I already asked Sunok, she says she’s working late. Tell him to wear something nice.” 

And she was gone up the stairs, those ghastly heels still sat at the door, reminding Ethan of how little she really cared. 

****

“W-what? I don’t even have good clothing!”

Ethan rolled his eyes, sitting up from the spot on Mark's bed, and walking over to rummage through the rack of clothes. He mumbled: “you don’t have a choice, ” before pulling out a dressy shirt. 

“What do you mean I don’t have a choice? I could be doing plenty of other things-!”

“ _Please,_ Mark! I don’t want to go there alone, especially with my mom acting so stuck up she’d be dry in a rainstorm! I can’t stand her right now.” The ravenette sounded a little bit like a moody teenager, but his voice held desperation… a little bit of anxiousness, and he grabbed Mark’s hands to try and prompt him to say something. _Anything._ Saying no seemed like an impossibility with the way Ethan’s blue celestial eyes were staring into his, just pleading to help him. The boy looked properly beautiful. 

“Fine.” Mark sighed out, intertwining their fingers when Ethan moved in to press his head against that strong chest. 

“Thank you. I’ll repay you.”

“No, you don’t have to.”

Ethan just shook his head, pulling away too soon in his friend’s opinion. “I will.” He promised. And that was that. Because he went straight to the rack of clothes, brushing off his shaking fingers and where the skin that Mark touched, how it burned, Pulling out a pair of expensive polyester slacks that would fit his friend nicely, complimenting the muscle. He would look good, Ethan knew and felt accomplished as he set it on the side of Mark’s bed. 

“What time is dinner?” He questioned, and Ethan gave him a disappointed look. “Boy- he said _dinner.”_

“Maybe he eats dinner at a different time!”

“If you had an idea, it would die of loneliness.” He rolled his eyes, his small frame trying to hold in the laughter at Mark’s mock hurt face. 

“All you do is _lie,_ Nestor. You’d call an alligator a lizard.” 

“This ain’t no Lie, Mr. Fishbach. The Mayor is _rich,_ shitting in cotton, buying a boat as soon as the other one gets wet…” he started towards to door. “And he might offer us an out of town scholarship. Fully paid.”

That was enough to shut Mark up. 

****

After that talk, he had gone on a run to wear off the anger about his mom that was built up since the night before. He saw her even leave the house, her blonde bangs puffed up, her huge head of hair swept into a loose bun, and a pretty, loose skirt. She’d always worn something similar to visit the mayor. 

Soon enough, Ethan was scrambling home to take a shower after the jog. Part of him was nervous to see their town mayor, albeit it wasn’t his first time… it still made him uneasy. This man held power, and though Ethan’s reputation was good around the town, all it would take to tarnish it… would be doing something the Mayor didn’t like. And that was easy to do. There were literally anti-homosexual laws. So if he got too close to Mark for his liking, he’d probably be deemed a homosexual or something. 

It was just that easy. 

This feeling stayed in his gut as he opened his window to see Mark’s open just as wide, the man already sitting there in a casual shirt, waiting for Ethan. It made him smile. 

“You gonna beard me out about my mom or what?” The smaller boy questioned, shifting in his towel he had wrapped around his waist. 

“I’d rather not. I saw the way she came home last night... Could practically smell the cologne from here.” 

Ethan just nodded, looking down at the plummet from his window, watching the water droplets from his body fall down. He didn’t notice the way Mark’s eyes trailed the smooth skin, down his chest, trained on the way that the water glided down his freckled body. 

“She wears those damned heels everywhere now.” The brunette sighed, crouching down to slip on his underwear, brushing off the way Mark looked flushed. “And I’m pretty sure she already went to visit that guy.” 

At this, His friends’ eyebrows raised, pushing himself up from his casual position to start walking towards the clothes Ethan had set out for him, calling out a question. “Already? It’s only five!”

“I know!” Ethan agreed, his teeth holding the shirt he was about to wear in a vice. “She’s definitely bucking around with him.” The boy scoffed out, ignoring the way his chest flared. Mark’s barely audible “ew.” Quelled it just that bit, though. 

“She even had Hickeys! Hickeys!”

Like repeating it would make him better. Like repeating it would take away the unmistakable betrayal building up in his chest. 

“And she didn’t even comment on it or ask how the funeral was, or even just-“ Ethan took a breath as he angrily pulled on his shirt, pacing around the room that suddenly felt a bit too small, and it came so fast. Bubbling up through his throat, making the back of his neck flush something horrible 

“She didn’t even ask how _I_ was, Mark.”

“I know, Ethan. But she’s grieving too, and she wouldn’t even mention it to my mom. She’s hurt, you’re hurt-”

“That doesn’t make it okay for her to act years younger than her age! Coming home with hickeys and no wedding ring like she hadn’t become a widow only three days ago! Like she doesn’t have a son!” there was no room for argument as he nearly yelled that at the top of his lungs, watching Mark stare at him from across the window like he had just seen a mad man. That made him even angrier. How dare he look at him like _that_ when he couldn’t even understand how painful it felt to be shut out, and he wouldn’t even be this mad if it weren’t for Mark bringing up grief. He didn’t know a damn thing about it in ethans perspective…

The thought came so fast it surprised him. Did he just… blame Mark? _Doubt_ the best friend he’s ever had? Who’s always been there for him? Did he just do that? He’d never done that… it was enough to shock him into silence as they just stared at one another.

Immediately, the boy took a breath, tucking in the shirt.

“Ethan? You okay-” clearly he was confused about the change in tone or demeanor of the boy. 

“Yeah!” was all he could pathetically squeak out, his fingers running up and down his face in hopes to rid away his thoughts of Mark. “I just… god- man, I’m sorry.”

“C’mon, Eth. There’s no need.” sometimes, When mark used that nickname, Ethan swore that was the only person he'd want to hear it from.

“I’ve never done that, lost control like that… so I _am_ sorry that you had to see that.” Ethan was scared. Kind of fucking petrified with the way all of his sense slipped out of him that fast, and he just prayed he’d never do that again. _Especially_ around Mark. 

“I’m your best friend, Man. I’m not mad or anything.”

****

Hours later, here they were in front of the Mayors villa. Shrubs surrounding the area, a red, pristine, Unreleased car on his sand brick driveway. No doubt this was a man with Money, and both of the boys stood there to just admire it. Helping with ignoring the fact that his mom's car was already there. 

Mark looked nice, Ethan noted to himself as they turned lightly to give each other a half-smile… Mark looked really nice… really _really_ nice with the way the shirt clung to his biceps. His _friend_ had always… looked… nice. Just nice. Just good. 

Surely handsome would be laying it on a bit thick, the smaller boy shuddered. 

But Mark really did look amazing, he looked so much like someone with an important place, like _he_ could be the mayor. Thinking back to where they were, Ethan turned to his best friend again, trying to signal they should start walking, and the bigger man did nothing but wrap a loose arm around his neck and start moving. 

“Mark- if we’re like we normally are- he’ll fucking ban us or something!”

“That’s gibberish.”

“No- really! Didn’t you hear about the homo laws he put up last month.” 

The bigger teen stopped dead in his tracks, turning to face Ethan directly like he had just thought of something. But instead, the soft question of “really?” Slipped through his mouth, looking straight into the boy's eyes. “Yes.” Ethan replied. 

But… Mark just... cracked a small smile, huffing out a chuckle. “Like- you’re serious?”

“Yes!” Ethan said again, his lips curling up the tiniest as Mark started laughing more and more, trying to move closer in hopes to hide his laughs. “It’s not even funny, Mark!”

“Of course it is, Man!” 

“How?” The boy laughed out in disbelief once Mark started chuckling again, straightening out his dress shirt. 

“It’s funny because this man is so _hungry_ with Power that he made anti homosexual laws just to please!”

“LITERALLY no one is pleased-“

But the man just put a finger up. “Think about it. He hasn’t made laws in more than two years. Tabloids write about his son being a _homo_ -“ Ethan spluttered at the new information. “They wrote about how the mayor supported his son. And then… anti-hOmo laws? Everyone hated his son for months!”

“I mean- the law just states no PDA-“ Ethan was cut off by the clack of a cane. 

“Boys!” The big booming Voice of Mr. Lexington cut through the air, and when they looked over, he was about nine feet away. He had his arms outstretched in a welcoming stance, as if he wanted a _hug._ The boys shuddered at the thought of giving this man a hug. 

“Right on time!” Ethan's mom calls from behind the man, peppily stepping over to her son to fix his hair like he hadn’t spent about an hour getting it to look how it did. Mark rolled his eyes next to him. “I told you to look _nice_.” His mom whispered, dusting off the smaller boy’s shoulder before turning to the Mayor with the fakest grin. “May they come inside?”

“Annie, you know you don’t have to ask!” She giggled bashfully, ushering them to the double doors of his mansion, and Ethan could already smell the seafood broil- Mark groaned next to him. 

Mark _hated_ seafood broil. 

But they continued on, the white marble flooring contrasted to the carpeted staircase, Mr. Lexington was already wobbling up those steps while holding onto the Cane as if it were life support. 

Well, it sorta was. _._

“I heard from the town librarian you two have been in there nonstop.”

Ethan wanted to roll his eyes. “Testing is soon, Sir.” He said instead, glancing over to Mark to see the same annoyed look. 

“I know, boy.” There was just something about the tone of his words that made it feel like he was responding to an insult, and the brunette walked a little bit faster up those long and grand steps. 

“The town runners have been telling me you’ve been top of the team as well, and-“ it was apparent the old man was taking to Ethan, yet he paused to take the final step, turning to his guests as if he were about to introduce a show. 

“And we haven’t had anyone as eager to Run since your papa.”

Mark was already on his way to deliver a snarky question, maybe a snarky Comment, but _Eric_ Continued. 

“Now, you two boys have also been quite the crime fighters…” he scratched that big beagle nose that the pair of teens hated. 

“I just _have_ to ask, what’s your inspiration? Why are you two the best community workers we’ve had since 1868!”

Ethan looked to his mom, swallowing thickly. That question burned in his gut. It was his _dad._ They were raised by a kind hearted and hard working man that taught then to always strive for something better than average. All too familiarly, his eyes began to sting and he needed a distraction, something to avoid focus from that question. So he took a step up, 

“Can’t believe you’ve been here since 1868, Sir. I’m quite surprised… by the progress you’ve made.”

It was stupid. Maybe it really was something he shouldn’t have said, yet Mark only put a hand on his back. 

“By the _lack_ of progress in the community, huh?” Ethan just nodded slowly. 

“...’you sassing’ me, Boy?”

“No, sir. I’m answering your question. We strive for the community because we want to make it better than they’ve ever seen.”

His gray hair stayed solid from the grease he had visibly slabbed on, and he got closer to the two boys, side-eyeing Mark. 

“Seems like you two think you can do better.” It was meant to be a threat, and his mom picked it up. She quickly put a hand on Ethan as if she could see the anger swiveling around in her son’s head, but the boy only smiled, His friend following in Tow… he understood the answer to his question was a resounding “yes

“was it your dad who taught you to be so ballsy?”

Maybe it was because Ethan _knew_ that this man was screwing his mom, maybe it was because of the way that wrinkly old hand was firmly set on the staircase, but he only put his fists behind his back, not once touching the elder as he came close enough to smell his breath. Smelt like Whiskey and crackers. 

“Yeah.” Ethan simply replied, and that was that. 

Mr. Lexington broke into a smile, laughing low in his gut as he pat a soft hand on Mark’s broad shoulder. 

“I like you two.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated! Anything you want me to improve or anything you like, I wanna know


	5. Jesse Lexington

July was somehow overly humid and stickier every year, driving the two into the local record shop from the money they would get as rewards  
With all of their community work.

“How was your mom's date?’

“Oh- Bill? Total fucking creep, but she’s happy… so..”

Ethan scrunched his nose up as he carefully flicked through each record. “His name is Bill? As in the Billy Odis that I brought in last year for domestic violence and Pedophilia?” and he held a gaze with Mark, his friend seemingly calculating an answer. The best he could strain out was “Nah, must have been some other Bill.” hoping that it wasn’t actually Billy Odis. They all remembered the picture in the newspaper that week. That definitely raised some concern.

He hasn’t met the man, yet.

“Well, she’s bringing him over for dinner tonight. You should come.”

“What's she cooking?”

“Taters and fresh pork. Bill cured it for her.”

The small brunette hummed, shaking his head while pulling out a record, declining the offer to come over. “So… he’s an ass kisser?” Mark just groaned, rolling his eyes to confirm the question.

“You should hear her on the phone… it's just giggle after giggle.”

“I’ll visit him later… someday.” Ethan smiled teasingly, simpering slightly at the surprisingly fond and soft look from his Friend.

“You know, I really appreciate you caring for my mom the way you do.”  
And the smaller male just shrugged awkwardly, “you and her are the only things i have nowadays” rolled off his tongue before he even processed it, and it hung in the air. Thickly, it made Mark nod softly, grabbing the record from him gingerly.

“I know… how hard it’s been… but you’re just... Well- you’re just being so strong.”

Ethan got even more awkward as he bashfully walked closer, getting almost too comfortable for the very empty record store. “Aw, shucks...Don't give me so much credit..”

“I think you’re doing really well, Ethan…” Mark mumbled, feeling the soft and moisturized hands of his best friend set on his bare forearms, electricity bubbling up his chest as he let out a small and nervous chuckle. Of course, he was referring to the way he had seen this man suck it all up for the sake of the community.

“All because of you and Ma!” the boy corrected, fingers and hands sliding farther up his friend’s very muscular forearms. Fuck if he weren’t supposed to notice the tight button-up shirt the man was wearing...with it cuffed up to his elbows.

Definitely not something you should get excited about seeing on a friend, but… that- that wasn’t the point.

-

A month had already gone by, was all Ethan could think about as he started his walk down to meet the Mayor’s son. The small brunette was asked to lunch at the saloon, he assumed it was to discuss the roads Ethan had suggested building. Maybe. Yet a part of him wished that Mark was there as well… it was a comfort thing.

A month since his dad’s death, but it was still everywhere. Still, so many people called out “sorry for your loss.” or, “he was a good man.”

Yeah, Ethan knew that. The sheriff was his fucking dad after all.

It hurt him, it made it harder to forget, but… it’s nothing he couldn’t deal with is what he always told himself.   
His mom was already on another business trip, basically leaving him and Mark to look after the town while the mayor was off in the City’s, trying to get asphalt shipments. It’s been several years since the revolution, it was about time this small southern town got modern.

Ethan sighed heavily as he entered the saloon door, hearing a man say “Ethan!” And he made his way over to the table the lanky man was sitting at. It wasn’t awkward. In fact, it felt… natural as the man gave him a friendly pat, holding out a hand for an introduction. He had his reporter vest on. And that’s when Ethan realized any slip up could be the next headline. 

“I’m Jesse.”

“I’m Ethan-“

“Oh, I know who you are!” And that shut the small brunette up. He smiled bashfully, running a soft hand through his hair out of habit. 

“So… you know Mark, too?”

“Yeah! You guys are supposedly “better than the mayor” according to our town papers.”

Ethan chose to ignore that, instead, taking in Jesse’s features. Jesse was tall, lanky, and the right amount of tan. He looked like someone who has never done a day of work in his life with his clean-cut nails and shined shoes. His hair was very curly, and he had a good amount of it. Ethan almost whines at the thought of how hot his head must be walking around this scorching desert town. But Jesse seemed to be just fine, wiping the sweat from his neck with a handkerchief that had the first letter of his name on it, troopers smile shining through. 

“So… you needed me… here?”

“It’s just some things I didn’t want to discuss over the phone- but don’t worry. It isn’t a boring business meeting.”

So he was funny, Ethan smiled. 

“First off, I just want to say- and I know you’re probably tired of hearing this, but I’m so sorry for your loss-“

“Yeah, it’s fine-“

“No no.” Jesse smiled once again, charmingly Ethan had to admit. 

“I’m saying this because I have something your father wanted me to give you.” And his long arms reached into his smooth leather bag beside him, an envelope making its way into Ethan’s sight. “I know it’s not much, but he said to tell you to open it when you… fell… in love? Have you done that already? Sorry- that’s weird. Ignore that-“

“It’s fine, Jesse. I… haven’t.” Ethan said softly, smiling at the way the boy across from his seemed to be embarrassed. Honestly, he looked like a little child. 

So Ethan took the note, holding it in his nimble fingers, just… feeling it. His dad had made this for him. This was one of the last things he touched in normalcy. It’s like he could feel his dad standing over him, saying what he always said. 

“Falling in love is scary, my boy. I’ll be there to walk you through it.” It was a promise, and he clearly would not be fulfilling it now. 

He had to set it down before he got emotional. 

“Was that it?”

“Oh- no! I just sort of just wanted me to interview you about Your friendship with Mark?”

His friendship with mark?

“It’s sort of for a personal reason.”

“Oh? Uh- like Therapy advice or…”

Jesse found that really funny, and he struggled to keep his laughs covered by his delicate little fingers. Ethan found himself laughing along. 

“No… no, Ethan. I’m just curious to know why you guys seem so… close. And well together. Or like- you guys just… click.”

“I mean we are best friends, but I don’t know about clicking-“

His lanky arms reached across the table to Hold the brunettes, softly, to stop him from talking any further. But he quickly took them away as he realized he was in a public space, and the fear of getting ridiculed for the Anti-Homo laws was visible. It was palpable. And Ethan wanted to hug him. 

“Everyone in town sees it. It’s just like you guys were sorta meant to cross paths the way y’all did…”

“Yeah, I’m pretty lucky to have him around.” His small frame curled in some, and a soft, whistful smile fell onto his face. 

“That’s it!” Jesse exclaimed, pointing to his face with a broad smile. “Whenever you talk about Mark you look like that-“

“Like what??”

“Like this!” He pulled his face into a bashful one, eyebrows squinting and smile being all soft, all mushy. Like he was talking about a crush.   
No fucking way he’d look that way over mark. He did not want to look that way. 

“So is he a good guy?” Jesse pushes. 

“Of course. He’s always there for everyone, treats his mom with respect, treats me with respect… the town-I don’t know, I think we’re all just really… so lucky to have Mark.”

The boy in front of him held a smirk that said: “I know something you don’t.” But he instead verbally said: “is he your best friend?”

“Oh- totally.” Ethan nodded, “We just understand each other.”

“Totally. So, did you know that the girls in town secretly call him ‘Officer Charming?’”

“Well- he is…”

Jesse really laid it on thick as he put a hand under his chin, humming. “I think our dear librarian Amy is thinking of asking him out.”

Ethan felt his stomach flip, his head do a flop- and suddenly, he was irritated.   
“Does he even go to the library?” He snapped. 

“Apparently enough to be friends with Amy.”

“Isn’t she, like, 40?”

The taller man was definitely entertained by the sudden harshness. He laughed, shaking his head. 

“Nope, she’s his age.” And he saw how the boy took a huge breath, he considered telling him that he was doing nothing but telling lies. Only to prove a point to himself of course. 

And Ethan did end up just sighing, shaking his head onto his arm. “That’s good for him, I’m excited to third wheel.”

“But Ethan, that’s not what you really want, right?”

“If it makes him happy, it makes me happy.”

Jesse laughed quietly. “That’s what someone who is secretly-whipped-for-someone-they-can’t have, That’s what those people say.” he finished matter-of-factly

“But I’m not!” The brunette defended, putting a hand on his chest like he was offended. 

“Think about how much time he’s gonna spend with amy. Oh the whole town will be sick of those two love birds.”

Ethan's heart and stomach did nothing but Churn as Jesse kept talking. 

“It’s… fine. They’ll be happy.” But… as the minutes went on, Ethan was starting to realize that it would not be fine. And he was in fact, super fucking jealous of Amy for no reason. Mark didn’t even know yet. Ethan didn’t know if he wanted to be Amy, or if he just didn’t like the thought of his best friend ditching him. 

“But will you be?” That question surprised him. Especially with the fragility, it was whispered like he was actually curious… and Ethan decided to let down his guard just a little bit. Jesse seemed like he knew how to read him anyways. 

“I- I honestly don’t know. I never put much thought into it, but now that I am…”

“It doesn’t feel nice, huh?”

The smaller boy looked up from his fiddling hands, right into Jesse’s eyes. He nodded honestly, seeing the sad smile the boy wore. 

“Think about that.” was all he said, picking up his leather bag once again, and saying he was hungry.

They had lunch together. But Ethan was stuck with this sudden realization of… the fact that Mark may be meant a little more to him than… just a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i upload fucking slow lol

**Author's Note:**

> whew Lnskcklsakcn 
> 
> comments + feedback are v v appreciated!  
> lemme know what you think?


End file.
